The Alchemist: First Two Dialectical Journals

“They come in search of new things, but when they leave they are basically the same people they were when they arrived.” (Coelho 8)

This quote relates to a mentality that a lot of the modern world has. Most people are constantly looking for the next best thing, whether that “thing” is a literal object, place, or even status. It is difficult for the people of today’s fast moving society to be content in the moment with what they have, meaning that they are always moving on from the old and to the newer or better. Even if people decided to take it slow and try to simplify life, societies all over the world are speeding up and will leave behind those who choose not to do so. I also believe that no matter how hard people try to change themselves, there is no way to become a completely new person. Changing the environment or the people that an individual is surrounded by might make you seem entirely different, but in fact he or she will still have the roots from their old selves inside of them no matter what. In conclusion, moving on to unknown places will not result in a new person, but possibly new characteristics.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” (Coehlo 15).

This quote reminds me of the pressure that society puts on everyone to find themselves. Every day, people are expected to have themselves and their lives figured out. However, no one actually fully knows themselves well enough to define themselves for the world. The irony of this situation is that this unrealistic expectation is set by the same people that struggle to abide by the same expectation. We bombard everyone around us with our opinions about their choices, but don’t accept the same kind of advice others give us. This hypocrisy causes separation and division between people, leading to serious conflict. Our closed mindsets make it impossible to form real connection with one another. When we try to explore our own nature, we often end up confused and more lost than when we started. This cycle in never-ending and personal, therefore making it an investment of time and energy. At the roots of the issue, our own self-doubt drowns out the noise of others trying to help us.

 

A Fall Wedding

Sigh. I slipped into my sweatpants, over-sized shirt, and Adidas sliders and grabbed my keys. I hopped into my red 2000 Honda Civic and started the car. After sitting in the car for about five minutes, pondering what I had gotten myself into, I finally started driving. I can’t believe that it’s happening tomorrow. My little sister is getting married tomorrow. As I pulled up to the venue, I was still a little in shock.  The church was stunning and the view was even more breathtaking.

I have to admit, I was jealous. I wanted the view, the venue, the happiness, and the groom. I know, it’s horrible. I needed to build a bridge and get over him. We were over. He was happy. My sister interrupted my thoughts, “Hi, glad to see you woke up!” I shot her a sarcastic glare. She laughed. “You know I’m just kidding with you,” she said, “you feeling ready for today?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I gave her a fake grin.

She scurried off to attend to the millions of marriage matters she had to tend to and I was left alone to my thoughts again. I unloaded my dress and other necessities into the dressing room and decided to take a walk. The trees’ leaves were changing and the mix of red, orange, and yellow was oddly calming. I always felt related to fall. It was a time of transition and spontaneity, and even confusion, three words that describe my life pretty well. Just two short years ago I expected to be in the same boat as my sister, married to the love of my life. Unfortunately, we had the same loves. I had never had the heart to tell my sister, but her soon-to-be husband was once my soon-to-be fiancé. We were so happy until we figured out we were different. Very different. I had just quit my job to pursue my dream to be a writer, and he was not there for me. He wanted to do whatever would result in the most money in the moment and was unable to see long-term benefits. I needed the support, so I dealt with his stubborn opinions for about a month before I realized his company was the opposite of support. After I dumped him, he somehow moved quickly. By some crazy case of chance, he found happiness with my sister. Who was I to stop them? I truly was happy for my sister, but it took a lot of effort.

I made my way back to the dressing room to find the other bridesmaids fawning over my sister. Her dress was amazing. She looked like the beautiful angel she had always been. I decided to focus on her and her joy in the moment and I instantly felt better.

The next day went quickly, probably because of how busy I kept myself. As I woke up the next morning, it finally hit me. I was going to be the best maid at the wedding of both my sister and my ex. My life is crazy. I drove back to the church only to run into the party of groomsmen. Ugh, what are they, frat boys? Though I had to admit, they were cute. Being lost in my own thoughts, I ran into one of them. “Sorry,” I said as I tried my hardest not to make eye contact with him. “You’re good, dude,” he replied. The groom gave him a look to tell him to try again. “I mean maid of honor,” he corrected with a smirk. I shook my head and walked away. Why are all the cute ones so stupid? 

As I walked into the dressing room, I was flooded with questions from the other bridesmaids.

“Who was that guy you were talking to?”

“Do you two have a thing?”

“I didn’t know you were dating one of the groomsmen, lucky!”

Sigh. Oh so shallow. Have any of you grown up at all since middle school? I quickly shut down all of the rumors. “I don’t know, just leave me alone.”

“You totally like him!!!”

Just give them what they want. “You know what? You’re right,” I responded.

“Let us help you!”

“Yeah we’re really good at this kind of stuff!”

“That would be great!” I smiled at all of them. Really, I hate all of them, but I’m getting a little bored, so why not let them help me stir up some drama?

They immediately got to work, so much so that I was impressed. While a couple of them rushed me away to “glow me up,” the rest of them researched the groomsmen’s schedules so I could “accidentally” run into him. After about an hour of work, I was finally ready to go. Equipped with my bridesmaid’s dress and about three tons of makeup on, I ventured outside to the place where the photographer was barking orders at the groomsmen. I put on my best confused face and not-so-smoothly interrupted their session. When I caught some of the guys giving me strange looks, I gazed at the clock with a puzzled look. “Is this not the time for the bridesmaids’ photos?” The photographer gave me a displeased look and gave me a patronizing “no” in response. Little did he know, I was just on time. I had caught the attention of the mystery man. I walked back inside the church where my sister was waiting for me. She asked, “What were you doing?”

“Nothing.” I didn’t want to tell her about the newfound fun I was having.

“Are you checking out the groomsmen?”

“No…”

“You don’t have to lie to me, I know you were checking out my almost husband’s brother.”

What? He has a brother? “Fine. You caught me.”

“I can put in a good word for you, if you know what I mean.” She raised her eyebrows.

This offer showed me a side of my sister I had never seen before. In my eyes, she was always just the baby girl with the innocent eyes that she was when she was born. “I’d like that,” I said to her after giving her a genuine smile.

As we headed our separate ways, I was deep in thought. I was moving on. After two years of sulking, I was moving on. Not to mention, I was moving onto my ex’s brother at his wedding.

The rest of the day flew by. The ceremony was beautiful and I got to watch my sister and her husband become truly happy together. Finally, the part of the night I was dreading the most had arrived. I had to give my maid of honor speech in front of hundreds of people. Deep breath in, out. And then I did it. I can’t even recount what I said because it was so in the moment, but let me just say that I, along with my sister, was left in tears. It made the unbelievable night even more unreal, but the most eventful part of the night hadn’t even taken place yet.

As I packed up my things and started to load it into my car, I saw a dark figure approach me out of the corner of my eye. I turned around to be greeted by Mr. Groom’s Brother. “Sorry,” he said softly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” I smiled nervously. “Ok, I know this sounds weird,” he continued, “but I heard you might have a little bit of a thing for me.” He must have noticed the color drain from my face out of embarrassment because he quickly corrected himself. “I didn’t mean to make anything awkward, I just came out here to ask if you like coffee? I mean, do you wanna go get some coffee sometime?” He was fidgeting with keys as if he was very nervous. After I didn’t respond, he kept talking. “I’m sorry I made things so uncomfortable. I got your message, I’ll head home now.” Eventually, I mustered up the courage to open my mouth. “Of course.”

 

Thank you for taking time to read my story, sorry it was super long! Leave some constructive criticism in the comments!

Freshman Year Reflection

Whoa. We have a week left of freshman year. If that doesn’t shock you, then I don’t know what will. Let me just preface this blog by saying this year has been FULL of change (both good and bad). I am so glad that I ended up at Skyview and so thankful for all the relationships I’ve formed.

I started off freshman year by attending the summer dance that Skyview held and invited all of the incoming ninth graders to. To be honest, I was terrified of the idea of going to a new school and not knowing anybody at all, but I just decided to brave the nervousness. So, I got a new outfit and ventured off into the great unknown.

Me, right before the dance

When I first walked in, I was determined to talk to someone so that I didn’t spend the entire night alone. No matter how I appear, I am not an extrovert. Even though I may seem social, being social is something I have tried to become better at this year. Just like any other skill, it takes practice. Anyway, I looked around and spotted someone who looked as out of place as I did. I introduced myself and she said her name was Ashley. We hung out throughout the night and I was super grateful that I didn’t spend the entire night by myself.

Me on the first day of school

I went to all of the orientations and was so excited for high school, so when the first day of school rolled around, I was pumped. Let me just say that going to those somewhat silly orientations was worth it because I already knew people on the first day of school. Now, most of you know the rest of the year’s story from there, but let me just say this year has been one of the craziest of them all. I have changed a ton and I think this year helped me discover who I really am even further. I’m sorry if this sounds cheesy, but freshman year has been a roller coaster of emotions and self-discovery. To anyone going into high school, I would tell them to do what they want to do. Don’t let anyone limit them. Don’t worry about what people think, as long as they’re happy. Also, on a less inspirational note, don’t try too hard to break the high school hierarchy. Freshman are at the bottom and that’s just life.

To wrap it all up, I hope that the years to come in high school are just as amazing as this year and I get to know more about the people around me and myself. 🙂

Finals Week Tips

For the free write this week, I’ll be sharing a list of helpful tips and tricks for the upcoming finals week. Some of these are my own pieces of advice, and others I found online. Here it goes!

1. Use your planner, or make your own schedule for the subjects you are going to study everyday and for how long.
2. Use your half-days wisely, and don’t pretend like you ran out of time.
3. If you don’t understand something (even if it seems simple), go ask the teacher or go to peer tutoring*. It is better to ask and get a quick response than to just assume you know it.
4. Find a way to relieve your stress and don’t feel pressured to be studying 24/7.
5. Complete all of the study guides you are given, but also go a step further and create a visual or audial representation of the material.
6. Don’t stay up late. Like I mentioned before, having a half-day means that you are able to study during the day and don’t need to study during the night.
7. Study all of the material everyday, and only stop studying the subjects you’ve already tested on. Don’t wait until Thursday to study for Friday’s tests!
8. Go on a run, workout, dance, do yoga, or do some physical activity, it will enhance blood flow to the brain and just leave you feeling healthier overall.
9. Turn social media and unnecessary technology off while you are studying.
10. Give yourself a break at some point in the week. Go hang out with friends or family after a hard study session to relax.
11. Know what to expect on the exam as far as formatting goes. Are you allowed to have a notecard or a page of notes?
12. Even after you feel like you’ve finished studying, study for ten more minutes.
13. Create a rewards system for yourself. For example, tell yourself that after you finish studying for math and history, you can watch an episode of your favorite TV show.
14. For any final that includes a test of comprehension of literature, review the literature both in the class copy and from a different source (maybe Sparknotes or even a movie version).
15. Especially for math, use Khan Academy. Sometimes hearing a topic taught differently will make all the difference in the world.
16. Find a place to study that will not distract you, but still keeps your mind awake. In other words, don’t study in bed or in front of a TV.
17. When taking the actual final, remember that most essays are graded on how you express your ideas, not what your idea is.
18. Use all of the time you are given for the exam because you can also proofread or check your work and make improvements.
19. Eat breakfast! It is so hard to focus while you are hungry!
20. Wear comfortable clothes, chew gum, or do anything that will take some weight off of your shoulders.
21. Do not forget to charge your calculator or refill your mechanical pencil! These simple tasks can make or break your testing day.
22. Try your hardest because these grades do count.
23. Remember that after finals, it’s summer and you get three months off!
24. Don’t stress about exams you’ve already taken.
25. Just to recap all of the tips, don’t stress but work hard! 🙂

    *A side note about peer tutoring: I know it may seem embarrassing to go to peer tutoring, but all of the tutors understand your situation and we all need help sometimes, so don’t be afraid to come in for help!

My Name

For those of you who might not know my name (even though we’ve been in the same class for almost nine months), it’s Rayna. My name has roots in Yiddish (similar to Hebrew) and means “pure and virtuous.” I love the meaning of my name because it makes me feel like I have a name to live up to. Another option my parents considered naming me was Kaelyn. I am very gracious to them for choosing Rayna over Kaelyn because I have only met one other Rayna in my life. Although it was not my parents’ intention, when my name is spelled with an “i,” it means “queen” or “queenly” in many languages. I like that my name has multiple meanings and that a lot of people already connect me to royalty. 🙂

As far as the significance of my name (and all names in general), it’s a very thought-provoking topic. What would it be like to be called another name? I know that you can change your name legally or be called a nickname, but it’s most likely that your new name somehow relates to a name you’ve been called before. Our names also have to do with people’s first impressions of us. For example, if you were at a meeting and everyone was wearing name tags, you would probably be quick to judge someone based on their name. If a professional-looking woman introduced herself to you as Courtney, you’d probably be pretty impressed. However, if the same woman introduced herself as Jemima, you’d probably be a little less than thrilled. Now, it’s not like your a horrible human being because you assumed their personality based off of their name. We all subconsciously do it. The lesson we need to take away is that our first impression is not necessarily to the truth.

To the Heart-Broken

Dear Down-in-the-Dumps Dreamer,

I’m sorry. I know that I couldn’t have done anything, but I’m still sorry. The number one thing you need to understand is that it’s not your fault. You are not the reason that it all happened the way it did. You couldn’t have prevented it, and you had no control over the other people’s feelings. Secondly, this mess does not define you. Just because one person may say something rude or demeaning to you, doesn’t mean that you are a horrible human being. You are not what one person’s negative opinion says about you. You are beautifully worth it. Third, do not try to hold your anger in. It’s unhealthy and pent-up anger will not help the situation. Find a way to release your pain. Go on a run, watch a sad movie, read a book, or make a quilt. No matter what you choose to do, find something to keep you busy. I want to let you know that I am here for you. You are not alone through all of this, so don’t make yourself feel isolated. I will always be there to talk (or cry). If you’ve had one of those especially difficult days, don’t feel obligated to plaster on a smile. Talk to someone. Finally, remember that you will be able to move on. It might take days, weeks, or even years, but you will make it through it. While you might not be able to forget it all, use this experience to learn. Don’t make the same mistakes that caused you so much pain. Never forget that you are priceless and unique and you will persevere through this. 😊

 

Sonnet

Keep walking, running, or even crawling

Just continue moving on, don’t give up

The ups and downs of life are enthralling

You have to find your passions, fill your cup

Don’t waste the time with frivolous, fake loves

When you feel emptied, keep your head held high

Before you know it, life has flown like doves

You’ll be looking down, staring from the sky

Remembering the effect you had there

Many legacies ever forgotten

We’re authors of an intertwined novel

The lasting story-writers all shotten

But why are they perceived as unlawful

Don’t stop moving, it’s hard to start again

Live your life without a ball or a chain

 

 

Antigone Questions

Why does Antigone stand up for her brother even when he fought against Thebes?

Why would Ismene rather stay quiet and safe?

Why do some of us feel more family inclined?

Why do siblings turn out differently even when they’re raised the same?

Why do people have naturally contrasting opinions?

Why is conflict an ordinary aspect of our lives?

Why is complete peace almost impossible?

Why can’t people just get along?

Why are laws a necessary part of society?

Why can’t we all just be morally decent?

 

 

Yellow (Writing Prompt)

“No more yellow! No more yellow!”
I took out my earbuds. The drive to King Soopers was never anything to rave about. I peered out my window to see a group of protestors in the parking lot. Not again, what is it this time? “Yell-no!” “Amarill-no!” the activists shout. Why are they screaming about yellow? Finally, the leader of the group stood on a rock. “Yellow has tortured us long enough!” he exclaimed. The crowd roared in agreement. “Mustard, neon, you name it! We are done with this pain! Yellow must be eradicated!” the leader yelled. The crowd started to protest again. I mean, I get their point. Yellow is just not a pretty color. The only real purpose it had was to catch people’s attention; attention was drawn by its unnatural glow. As I walked into the grocery store, a woman approached me. “Do you know how many deaths are caused by the color yellow per year?” she questioned. “Umm, none?” I replied.
“Yes but there will be deaths if we don’t eradicate this color today.” she fired back.
“Well, good luck with your cause!” I said as I continued walking.
The next morning, on my way to school, I realized something was off. I quickly noticed that the school bus didn’t seem quite right…

Antigone vs. Ismene

In Sophocles’ play, Antigone and Ismene, the two main characters/sisters disagree on how they should handle their brothers’ deaths.  While Antigone says that they should honor them both, even if one of them died fighting against Thebes, Ismene suggests they play it safe and keep quiet. As I was reading, I could not identify all the way with either. Personally, I would say my personality is a balance of the two. Like Antigone, I would protect my family at all costs, even if it meant disobeying the law. If my family was being disrespected, I would stand up for them in any situation. However, when there is an opportunity to break the law, I am more like Ismene. I would rather play it safe and follow the law if I can.

If I were stuck in the sisters’ situation, I would probably agree with Antigone. From what I have read, Antigone seems more confident and outgoing, while Ismene seems more shy. Most of the people that know me would describe me more like Antigone. This moral dilemma is effective in the Greek tragedy because it causes deep thought for the audience and keep them captivated. I am ready to read the rest of the play and discover the deeper meanings behind all of the arguments!